Philosophy EthicsActions That Help and Actions That Hurt
Philo the owl sits on a low branch in a sunny playground, watching two children — one sharing a snack and another helping a friend pick up dropped crayons — and holds up two bright cardboard signs labeled HELPS and HURTS.
- Identify actions that help or comfort others as kind actions.
- Identify actions that hurt or upset others as unkind actions.
- Sort everyday actions into kind and unkind groups.
- Explain in simple words why a kind action makes someone feel good and why an unkind action makes someone feel bad.
- Compare how a person feels after a kind action versus an unkind action.
Key terms
- kind action
- Something you do that helps another person feel happy, safe, or cared for.
- unkind action
- Something you do that makes another person feel sad, scared, or left out.
- helping
- Doing something useful to make another person's day easier or better.
- comforting
- Being there for someone who is sad so they feel less alone.
- choice
- Picking one thing to do when more than one option is possible.
Actions That Help
Kind actions are the things we do that help other people feel good. Sharing a snack, helping a friend pick up dropped crayons, saying 'good job' when someone tries hard, or giving a hug when a friend is sad all count as kind. What makes them kind is the result: the other person ends up feeling happier, safer, or more cared for than before.
Actions That Hurt
Unkind actions are the things we do that hurt other people, even small ones. Grabbing a toy, pushing past someone, laughing at a mistake, or leaving a friend out of a game all make someone feel worse. Sometimes a person does not mean to be unkind, but if the action leaves another person sad, scared, or left out, it still hurt them and counts as unkind.
The Golden Clue
A great way to tell kind from unkind is to ask yourself, 'How would I feel if someone did this to me?' If the action would make you feel happy or cared for, it is probably kind. If it would make you feel sad or upset, it is probably unkind. This trick works because it helps you imagine being in the other person's shoes before you act.
Worked examples
Is laughing at a friend's mistake kind or unkind?
- Imagine making a mistake and having a friend laugh at me.
- Notice that being laughed at would make me feel sad or embarrassed.
- Use the clue: if it would make me feel bad, it is probably unkind.
Answer: It is unkind, because laughing at a mistake makes the other person feel embarrassed and sad.
A friend dropped her books. What is a kind action?
- Notice the friend needs help picking everything up off the floor.
- Think about what would make her feel cared for in that moment.
- Choose the helping action: stop and pick up the books with her.
Answer: Helping pick up the dropped books is kind, because it helps her and shows her you care.
Activity
Sort each action card into the HELPS basket or the HURTS basket.
Practice
Name one kind action and one unkind action you saw or did this week.
A new student looks lonely at recess. Describe a kind action you could do.
Common mistakes to avoid
- It is kind if I was jokingIf your joke made someone feel sad or hurt, the action was still unkind to them.
- Only big actions count as kindSmall actions like a smile or a 'good job' are real kind actions that matter too.
Check your understanding
Mia sees her friend fall down and helps her up. What kind of action is that?
Leo calls his classmate a mean name. The classmate looks very sad. What kind of action did Leo do?
Which of these is an example of a KIND action?
Recap
Kind actions help people feel happy, safe, or cared for, while unkind actions make people feel sad, scared, or left out. A simple clue is to ask how you would feel if someone did the same thing to you, then choose the kind way.
Reflect
What is one kind action you could choose to do for someone tomorrow?